Wild ARMs: Off on a Tangent

By: Chibi-chan

Part Two: “A Lolithia Complex”

 

*

 

            Adlehyde.  One of the oldest surviving kingdoms on Filgaia.  Well, since Artica had fallen a few years back (rumor has it the Metal Demons were the cause), it was the only surviving kingdom on Filgaia.  It was also one of the biggest cities on the planet, rivaled by no other town. 

 

The town was buzzing when Laine made it into Adlehyde.  The Ruins Festival was to be held the next day.  However, the plans for the festival weren’t exactly going according to plan…

 

“There was an accident in Lolithia’s Tomb!  There are monsters everywhere!” shouted one of the workers that rushed up to the gates of Adlehyde.  Him and another worker were carrying a man that seemed to be injured.  “We have to report this to Professor Allison!”

 

The other worker yelled back, “But the injured should be our first concern!  Quick, let’s get him to the hospital!”  The other worker nodded and both ran off with the injured worker in tow past Laine.

 

Monsters…  Maybe…  Maybe this time, I can be of help… Laine thought, Now, where is this Professor Allison?  She then set off in search of that professor…

 

*

 

            Professor Allison Hazad was a woman who claimed to be in her thirties, but looked a wee bit older than that.  Her black hair was in a short bob and she wasn’t all that much taller than Laine.  All her energies were focused on one thing and one thing only: machines.  She even had a… er, well, that… is a secret to be revealed later. 

 

            Soon after Laine had found the professor and was about to talk to her, one of the workers from before entered the room.  “Professor Allison!  There’s been an accident at Lolithia’s Tomb!  We managed to break past that wall, but then MONSTERS came out of the room and attacked some of our men!” he exclaimed.

 

            The professor simply adjusted her glasses as she turned to the man and told him to send out some soldiers to deal with the monsters. 

 

            “But no one here has ever had to deal with monster before!” the man replied.

 

            Allison sighed.  “Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to deal with this, OK?” she said as she shooed the man out of the room.  She took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her free hand.  “Now what do I do?” she muttered.

 

            Laine, who had watched the whole thing unfold, finally spoke up.  “I’ve had to deal with monsters before.  I could help you…” she said softly.

 

            Allison brightened up.  She put her glasses back on and looked at Laine.  “You could?!  That’s great!  If you really can help, I’ll pay you 500 gella!  Is that OK?”

 

            “F-f-five hundred?!” Laine said in disbelief.  Five hundred gella…  Sure beats that last job’s pay!  “S-sure, that’s fine with me!”

 

            Allison smiled.  “I’ll have to pay you at the fair, if all goes well.  I’ll have a lot of work to do and won’t have time earlier,” she said.  She headed towards the stairway.  “Oh, that’s right.  Lolithia’s Tomb is very dangerous.  You should bring some friends along to be safe,” she told Laine before she left.

 

            Laine blinked twice.  “Friends?”

 

*

 

            Elmina was standing in the front of the Adlehyde mayor’s house.  “So, this is supposed to be the ‘Land of Light’, Zeddy?” she inquired of her Wind Mouse companion.

 

            “Er, well…  I could be wrong,” Zed nervously told her.  Just then, a young man with bright blue hair bumped into Elmina, muttering something about “Lolithia’s Tomb” and “friends”.  He got up and began walking again.  “But I don’t think I am this time!  Hey, you, kid with the blue hair!”

 

            The young man turned around and looked at Elmina.  “Uh, you say something?” he muttered.  The young man’s eyes turned to Elmina’s sword.  “You a fighter?”

 

            “Well, this sword ain’t just for decoration, kiddo,” Elmina snapped. 

 

            The young man recoiled.  The young man said softly, “Y-you don’t have to be so rude about it.  I was asking because I have to go to Lolithia’s Tomb and the professor said to bring some help with me.  You see, there are monsters there and-”

 

            Something clicked in Elmina’s mind as the boy spoke, “Lolithia?!  Did you say Lolithia?!” she interrupted.

 

            “Er, yeah, why-“ the young man began to say.

 

            “Then it’s decided.  I’m going with you,” Elmina said firmly.  “So, when do you we go, uh…  What’s your name, boy?”

 

            “My name?  It’s, uh…”  C’mon, Laine, just make one up… “Er, it’s Rudy,” Laine lied.

 

            “OK then, ‘Rudy’,” Elmina said with a hint of suspicion in her voice, “I’m Elmina and the mousie over here is Zed.  Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite.  He does klutz out often, tho’.”

 

            Zed glared at Elmina in response.  “I am NOT a klutz!” he said indignantly.

 

*

 

            Prince Cecil had finally made it to Adlehyde.  He leaned against the gate, breathing heavily.  “I’m not… cut out… for this kinda… thing…  Traveling is for… the birds…”  Just then, he noticed a beautiful warrior woman who’s dress didn’t seem all that appropriate for battle (if you get the drift) and a thin, depressed looking young man with the oddest-colored hair he had ever seen.  “On the other hand, if you could travel with a woman like that…” Cecil muttered.  “Oh, nice laaaaaaaaadyyyyyyy!!” he shouted, waving at the warrior woman.

 

            “Great,” the woman muttered to the young man, “just when we were about to leave, this bozo shows up…” 

 

            Prince Cecil, who quickly got his second wind for an obvious reason, quickly made his way to the woman and her companion.  “So, what’s a pretty gal like you doing with a frail-lookin’ guy like him?  Wouldn’t you rather have someone who can hold his own in a fight?” he said to the woman.  He then took out his weapon (which was a staff) and posed dramatically with it, a faint purplish-black magical aura surrounding him.  “Why don’t you ditch the wussy boyfriend and go out with me, my lady?” he whispered conspiratorially to the woman.

 

            The woman promptly smacked him across the face.  “One, he’s not my boyfriend, and two, why would I want to go out with you?” she said with a harsh edge on her voice.

 

            Cecil blinked twice as he felt the area she had slapped.  “You’re single?  Then what’s with him?”

 

            The young man sighed and said, “We are simply going to Lolithia’s Tomb to help out with the monsters.  Besides, I’m not interested in women that way.”

 

            A flash of realization went through Cecil’s mind, “Oh, you’re…  Well, I’m OK with that.  Don’t ask, don’t tell, blah, blah, blah.  So you’re going to Lolithia’s Tomb?  Could I go with you?  I can hold my own with magic…”

 

            The young man turned to the woman.  “What do you think?  We could always use more help…”

 

            “But that attitude!  Do you really expect me to put up with it?!” the woman responded.

 

            “It’ll only be for a little while.  Once we get the job done, feel free to hurt him as you wish…”

 

            The woman sighed.  “OK, he can come with.  But if he steps out of line…”

 

            The young man nodded.  “OK, you can come with.  I’m Rudy and this is Elmina,” ‘Rudy’ told Cecil.  Zed mumbled something, but no one heard what he said clearly enough to comprehend.  “Oh, and the little mouse-thing is Zed,” ‘Rudy’ added.

 

            “Oh thank you!  You won’t be disappointed!” Cecil exclaimed.

 

            Too late… Elmina thought.

 

*

 

            Over the hills and far away…  Wait, wrong story.

 

            Er, over at Lolithia’s Tomb, Laine and the others were checking in with Professor Allison.

 

            Professor Allison looked the three over and let out a satisfied sound.  “Yes, you three should be able to break the seal.  Beyond the room with that cool demon statue is… well, you’ll see when you get there, right?” she said cheerfully.

 

*

 

            The room with the “cool” demon statue.  A large door with seemingly no way to get there loomed overhead on the wall.  Cecil noticed a small switch on the statue’s back.  “Hey, ‘Mina, mind if I borrow Zed for a minute?” he asked.

 

            Zed was a bit miffed about the prospect of being loaned out.  “Hey, you don’t just ‘borrow’ the miniature version of the ultimate macho man-“ he began.

 

            “Yoink!” Cecil said as he snatched Zed off of Elmina’s shoulder and threw the Wind Mouse at the out-of-reach switch.  Zed ended up hitting the switch head-first (no harm done…).  Four blocks appeared in front of the statue.  “Peoples, I found our way to the door!” Cecil said with a more than a bit of arrogance.

 

*

 

            After a lot of pushing (oh, and Cecil’s “supervising”), the blocks were set in place.  The blocks and the statue vanished as a staircase and a catwalk leading to the door thrust up from the floor.  “See, I was right!” Cecil boasted. 

 

            “Oh, shut up!” Elmina told him.  “Let’s just go and see what’s behind door number 3, OK?” she said, dragging the prince and Laine behind her up the stairs.  When they reached the door, there was no visible way to open it.  Elmina decided to try the “When in doubt, kick it to make it work!” method to no avail.  “How the hell do you get in there?!” she nearly screamed in frustration, “Say, ‘Open Sesame’?!”

 

            Cecil gently pushed her aside and said, “Lemme try something, ‘Mina.”  He took out the Tear Drop and held it up facing the door.  “Open,” he muttered softly.  The door split in two and retreated into the wall.  He turned around and faced the others.  “See, I told you I’d be useful!”

 

            Laine looked troubled.  Something was moving in the next room, something big.  “Uh, Cecil?  There’s something behind you…” she whispered.

 

            Cecil turned back around and took a few steps backwards as he saw what Laine saw moving in the shadows decided to come out and say “hi”.

 

            Elmina’s jaw dropped when she saw the beast.  “A giant pink BUNNY RABBIT?!  What the hell kinda monster is THAT?!”

 

            The Pink Bunny of Death, as it shall be known, let out a ferocious roar…  Well, as ferocious as a rabbit can roar as it tried to jump on Cecil’s head.  Cecil froze like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming semi-truck.  He couldn’t bring himself to hurt a bunny rabbit, no matter how big, dangerous, and evil it was.

 

            “CECIL!” Laine cried out as she lunged to push Cecil out of the rabbit’s path.  “Idiot, why did you freeze up?!  That thing tried to kill you!” she screamed at Cecil.

 

            “Save the argument for later!  I need a little HELP here!” Elmina snapped as she tried to find an opening for an attack. 

 

Laine hurriedly got back up to her feet and drew her ARM from wherever she stored those things as Cecil looked at Laine confusedly.   His voice…  It didn’t sound like a man’s…  And… he shook his head to try to clear his thoughts.  Now’s not the time for that, I gotta help them…  A now-familiar purplish-black aura surrounded the prince as he summoned the Disco Balls of Doom with a cry of “VAAALKYRIIIIIE!!”

 

As the Disco Balls of Doom were beating the rabbit down, Laine was taking careful aim at the bunny, so not to accidentally hit Elmina, who was engaging the rabbit with a frontal assault.  “Lock On…” she whispered before she fired the weapon.  The shot, to put it bluntly, ripped the Pink Bunny of Doom (not related to the Disco Balls of Doom) a new one.  With its final scream (well, as close to a scream that rabbits can do…), it keeled over and died.

 

Elmina blinked twice.  “Nice shot, kid…” she said under her breath.

 

Cecil dusted himself off.  “Well, shall we see what’s behind ‘door number 3’, as you call it, ‘Mina?” he said with a grin.

 

*

 

            Lolithia.  One of the eight Golems used in the past to combat the demons.  It was big.  I don’t mean just big, but FRIGGIN’ HUGE!  About fifty feet high, this stone “robot” towered above the party as they looked up at the golem.

 

            “This is it?!  This is the power that was stored here?! I can’t use this!  I wouldn’t even be able to budge this sucker!” Elmina complained.

 

            “I don’t even think that I, the Grim Reaper’s pen pal, could even lift it!” Zed said, prompting a few giggles from Laine and Elmina.

 

            So this is what Stoldark wanted me to see…  But why would he… er, she… er, that turtle want me to see this? Cecil thought.

 

            “I think we should tell Allison about this…” Laine said.

 

*

 

            “WHAT?!  You mean I was right?!” Professor Allison shouted.  “Er, not that I thought I would be wrong, mind you…  Anyway, take some of the workers to where you found the golem, OK?  I’ll get things prepared.”  With that, she left the room.

 

            “Bossy lady, ain’t she?” Cecil said to no one in particular.  The others simply nodded.

 

*

 

            Allison was ecstatic.  “This is it!  This is Lolithia, one of the eight golems.  Isn’t it cute?  Well, I’ll have to set up for tomorrow’s festival; I’ll pay you there tomorrow.  Khhk, khhk, khhk, isn’t this great?  My Alli-Motor worked great in getting it out of the ruin!  Oh, uh, and you three helped too.”

 

            Laine said, “The job’s done.  Let’s got back to Adlehyde…”

 

*

 

            At the inn in Adlehyde, Cecil parted ways with Laine and Elmina.  “Um, thanks for letting me come with even though I acted like a real jerk before…  I gotta do something now, something that may mean I won’t see any of you again.  Er, bye!” Cecil said.  He ran out of the inn as fast as he could.

 

            Those words made the women wonder just exactly what he meant by that…

 

*

 

End Part Two

 

Chibi’s notes:

 

            Well, this is the true second part.  My fight scenes still suck, but hell, I’m tryin’, I swear!  ^^;;

 

Rudy: Try harder.

Ted: Where’s the gratuitous panty shots?!  I want panty shots!  *WHAM!*

 

Ignore him please.