"Oneechan" by Chibi-chan

Oneechan (Older Sister)
By: Chibi-chan

He can never me mine. Why does he love that… that… petty bounty hunter instead of me?! It just doesn't make sense! I've been with him from the beginning of our journey, I was the one who saved him from the dream demon, Elizabeth, and yet… If I mention how I feel about him, he looks at me oddly and tells me, "Oneechan, I'm sorry… I don't love you like that…" Always with that strange word, he tells me, in essence, that I should just bugger off, find someone else. I don't want anyone else, I just want him.

I looked at the picture he drew of me a while back. This can't be me, I thought, I actually look kinda… happy here. On a peculiar impulse, I took the picture, the one he spent so much time on, and tossed it into the fire in the fireplace. The picture burned readily. I watched as the flames engulfed it, the face burned beyond recognition, then it burned to ashes.

I have to stay strong, I can't let this get to me, I can and will survive without him, if need be, I have to. I am not weak; I will go on, just like that rabbit. I have to, I need to, Adlehyde needs me…

I began walking to the door, trying my damnedest to stay strong, to not let it get to me. Then I passed by a mirror. I stopped and gazed at my reflection. All I saw was a weak, lovestruck girl, who could never live without the one she loved. I couldn't stand looking at it anymore.

The mirror cracked and some of the glass shattered as my fist struck the offending reflection. All the rage, all the pent-up frustration of what I've been feeling was released on the one person who has angered me for so long… myself. I didn't even notice I was bleeding from the glass shards that broke off of the mirror and embedded themselves in my hand.

It was about that time he showed up. The blue-haired guardian angel that was there to protect me, but not to love me. He glanced at the mirror momentarily, then looked at me and asked, "Cecilia! What happened? Why's the mirror broken?"

I couldn't tell him. I could barely even look at him without feeling like a complete and utter fool.

"Cecilia? What's wrong?" he implored, his brown eyes full of concern.

"I… I… It's nothing, Rudy, really," I managed to get out. I looked away from him. Damn it, why did he have to come? Why couldn't it be someone else? I can't keep anything from him for long, anything. He was always able to tell if anyone was hiding something from him.

"Cecilia, you're bleeding! Did you break the mirror?" he said.

I said nothing.

"Maybe you should get it checked out by the new doctor; we don't know how deep the glass went."

I remained mute.

"Cecilia…" he whispered.

"………"

"Say something to me! Anything!" he cried.

"… something… anything…" I mumbled.

"… fine. If you won't talk to me, I'll get someone you will talk to," he said in a low tone. He turned and walked slowly towards the door.

"Why, Rudy?" I whispered softly.

He turned around. "Why what, oneechan?" he asked.

I cringed. That word again. I think I officially hate that word now. "I think you know 'why what', Rudy," I hissed.

He turned away from me. "That again? I told you before-"

I cut him off. " I know, I've heard it again and again. 'Oneechan, I don't love you like that, I'm sorry…'"

"Then why do you keep asking me that?! Don't you get it, princess?!" he said harshly.

I recoiled. He never calls me that unless he's really pissed off about something. "What. Did. You. Call. Me?!" I shrieked.

"We have nothing more to talk about. Good day, Your Majesty," he said icily. He turned and walked out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

I was crushed. He never talked to me like that before, let alone him being so… so… curt with me. To make things worse, that's when the pain in my hand from when I smashed the mirror was working overtime. To put it simply, I was miserable. Just a miserable little wretch who wanted to curl up in the woods somewhere and die. I didn't, or else I would not be able to tell you this. I decided to take Rudy's advice and go to the new doctor at the hospital. If I used a healing spell, any deeply embedded glass would be stuck there indefinitely. I left my room and later the castle.

* * *

When I returned, Jack was loitering at the entrance. As I passed by, he casually said, "The kid ran off."

I froze. "He what?!" I said in surprise.

"He mumbled something about princesses, crazy stunts, and not wanting to be trouble and took off," Jack told me. "You have any idea what that was about?"

I lowered my head. I was too ashamed of my behavior to answer him.

"I take it you know why. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he said in a strange uncharacteristic moment of compassion. He put a hand on my shoulder and said, "Don't worry, he'll be back."

I'm not so sure about that…I thought, but I didn't tell him that.

* * *

As an afterword, Jack was right; Rudy came back a few days later. However, the atmosphere was strained for a while after that. It's almost the way it was before, but I still have to fight the urge to do something stupid and illogical like what I did that day again.

Hanpan told me "oneechan" meant "older sister" in some foreign language. Now I understand why. He can't think of me romantically because he already thinks of me as family…

* * *

End

"You've already won me over/ In spite of me./ Don't be surprised if I've fallen/ Head over feet…/ I couldn't help it;/ It's all your fault…"
-song unknown, Alanis Morrisette, Jagged Little Pill